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A royal guide to perfect afternoon tea etiquette with Grant Harold, The Royal Butler
4th October 2024
Have you ever wondered how the royals take their afternoon tea? One of Britain’s most beloved traditions, afternoon tea is steeped in elegance and charm - and few know the art better than Grant Harold, The Royal Butler.
As former Royal Butler to King Charles III, Queen Camilla, and the Royal Family from 2004 to 2011, Grant Harold is an expert in how to enjoy afternoon tea properly. Drawing from his years of service to British royalty, Grant has shared a few timeless etiquette tips to bring a touch of nobility to your afternoon tea.
As former Royal Butler to King Charles III, Queen Camilla, and the Royal Family from 2004 to 2011, Grant Harold is an expert in how to enjoy afternoon tea properly. Drawing from his years of service to British royalty, Grant has shared a few timeless etiquette tips to bring a touch of nobility to your afternoon tea.
A royal start: sitting gracefully
The first step to proper tea etiquette is sitting correctly. Grant says, "When it comes to sitting down for one’s afternoon tea, there is a correct way to do this, because it is not a bean bag." To sit like a royal, gently move your chair back, stand in front of it, with your calves touching the seat. Keep your back straight as you lower yourself gracefully, ensuring that you sit upright with your hands resting neatly in your lap. Now you’re ready to begin your afternoon tea experience.
Tea first, then milk: a historical tradition
A key point of tea etiquette is the correct order of adding tea and milk. Grant emphasises, "Always remember we pour the tea first followed by the milk." The debate around this order stems from early teacups being made of clay, which would crack under the heat of hot tea, and so milk needed to be poured first to cool the cup. However, with the invention of fine bone China, the aristocracy was able to reverse the order, and now, as Grant explains, "that’s the way the royals like to do it."
Stirring with grace
After you’ve added your milk, there’s an elegant technique for stirring the tea. Grant advises, "We do a very gentle back and forth motion - never do circular motions, because we’re not trying to create a storm in a teacup." This gentle stirring method ensures that you maintain a sense of calm and grace, rather than drawing attention to yourself.
Drop the pinkies!
While many believe that sticking your pinky out while sipping tea is a sign of elegance, Grant completely dismisses this myth: "Remember, we never stick our pinkies up. After all, we are not testing the wind direction, now, are we?" Instead, keep your fingers relaxed and focus on enjoying your afternoon tea.
Cake etiquette: a surprising twist
When it comes to indulging in cakes during afternoon tea, you might be surprised by Grant’s advice: "We can use our fingers!" Simply select the cake, place it on your plate, and take small, delicate bites. "Remember not to eat it all at once because we are not hippos." Enjoy your sweet treats with sophistication!
Cream or jam first?
The debate continues—should you spread cream first or jam first on your scone? This quintessential British question remains open – but if you want to know how the royals do it, or you have more questions about Grant Harold’s experience as the Royal Butler, why not book a break to meet him in person?
Meet The Royal Butler: Book your break
Grant will be visiting several Warner Hotels, offering you the unique opportunity to learn royal etiquette, hear stories of his life in service to the Royal Family, ask all your questions, and even enjoy lessons in afternoon tea etiquette firsthand.
Enjoy afternoon tea at a Warner Hotel
If you can’t make it for a break but want to practice your royal afternoon tea etiquette, you can visit a Warner Hotel for the day and enjoy afternoon tea from just £22.50 per person. Whether you want to perfect your tea technique or simply indulge in a royal experience, simply head over to our Day Experiences portal and book your afternoon tea experience.
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